Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Tour Stop: Creatura By Nely Cab (Promo Post)

You can check out the rest of the tour sched here: http://literatiauthorservices.com/2013/07/24/sign-up-for-blog-tour-creatura-by-nely-cab/

And here's my post:

Dear Teen Me
Dear Teen Nely,
I know you’re busy worrying about not getting a new zit by morning and how your puffy 90’s hairdo won’t stand a chance against the humidity, even after you used three quarters of the bottle of Extra-Super-Mega-Fly-Trap-Glue-Hold-Popular Ninety’s-Brand Hairspray. But listen up, you, because I have some advice that you’ll thank me for in the future…
1.      Pay more attention in your literature class. You’re going to have to remember what makes a good plot. Sure you’re passing with an okay grade, but you know you could totally ace that class if you weren’t paying attention to the gossip about the past weekend’s party that your parents are never going to allow you go to anyway.

2.      Get a math tutor. When you have a kid and he starts working on Algebraic expressions and Geometry—and all those other math classes—you’re going to be lost.

3.      Learn more languages. You’re going to want to learn more languages when you’re older, but you won’t have the time because marriage, kids, and all this other grown up stuff will take over your life. Your only job right now is to be a student, so learn. 

4.      Read more. You love stories. You used to read all the time when you were a kid. What happened? You’re slacking. If you don’t read now, you wont read again until you’re 30 because as I mentioned in #3, grown up stuff will take over your life.

5.      Nothing’s going to happen with that crush you have on that boy. P.S. He’s also bad news. Get over it! Find a guy that’s smarter than you and that treats you right. You’re going to find this out eventually, but if you find it out sooner, you’ll be a lot happier.

6.      Stop skipping class your senior year. Yes, you’re passing all your classes with flying colors, but I just can’t believe you’re seriously skipping school to go drink coffee and eat at McDonald’s. Your butt will be huge in your thirties if you continue.

7.      Listen to your parents. They may get on your nerves, but they know what’s best. They’ve already lived all the experiences you’re going through. By the way, your mom and dad know you’re cutting school; they just pretend they don’t know.

8.      You wear too much makeup.

9.      The hair—just no.

10.  Study something you enjoy. Numbers, as I pointed out before, are not your thing. 

Well, that’s only the stuff off the top of my head, but I think you’ll be better off knowing some of the things you could improve and not mess up on. Now, if I could just figure out how to get this list to you by the time you turn fifteen and get to high school, it might actually help.

Adult Nely

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